Warning to all prospective readers. This is going to be a very mopey and slightly whiny post.
Well I expect I am supposed to be feeling all airy and light-headed and severely happy. This is what it is all about, after all, isn’t it? No. Right now, in all human earnesty, I am feeling a tad overrun by the tide. The tide of thirst that is threatening to shrink my brain into a frizzled ball of frazzled pain and dehydration because I am too cowardly to go downstairs and get a glass of water… because we have a mouse problem. And we all know that mice are creatures of the night, and despite their malicious tendency to occupy people’s homes like the parasites that they are, they are rather shy creatures so it would make sense of them to not emerge until they were sure that everybody was asleep. It just makes life so hard and sigh-worthy, to be honest. Especially if you are a coward like me.
First of all, I learnt this weekend that men are all the same, despite their natural good will and earnest intentions. They are all rather weak at heart and I am sorry to say this, but not monogamous at all. Yes, one lady might be quite enough for them and they might treat her like the bloody queen of Antarctica (go with me here) but at the end of the day when all is said and done, especially in this day and age (see what I did there, English nerds?), they are all rather akin to things that catch their sights and it will distract them and detain them and it will catch their attention…. especially if they are married to boring, senseless fools like me.
Yes, me. I am rather failing and this marriage malarky, truth told. I am terribly awkward and not mastering it as well as I should be. This is causing me much bother, to be honest. I reckon it is all my past insecurities about myself rising to the surface. They are all rather petty, really. There is the one where I think my arms are too flabby. Come AWN, girl, he did not marry you for your arms and if he did, then darn it you are lucky because they clearly didn’t put him off did they, else he wouldn’t have married you! Then there’s the tummy issue, which to be frank is terribly shallow and very vain and body-orientated rather than personality orientated. One must learn how to focus on how one behaves rather than how one looks, frankly.
However what I keep telling myself is that this is a work in progress and nobody ever said marriage was an easy task. In fact it is widely known to be quite a cumbersome and tiring task, not to mention quite draining on the system and altogether very effortful. I knew all of this all too well when I ‘signed my life away’ as my brother in law ever so elegantly put it.
Well, it isn’t really signing your life away. And there are lots of dreadfully lovely things about it, if you were clever enough and had the integrity and confidence to get over your insecurities that, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you really just landed on yourself.
Marriage, folks, is an institution, and one which one must endeavour to conquer. I am just saying this because I haven’t even had two months experience with it, and frankly what do I know? Either way, when one faces a problem, one must ponder the solutions. There are always solutions. Leaving a problem will not make it go away or get any smaller, and relationships are good things to maintain. They reap the most succulent of fruit. And no I do not mean this in any way but the figurative way. Happy reading to all.
2 thoughts on “Surrounded by the Plops of Resonating Fears”
Either way, when one faces a problem, one must ponder the solutions.
Not everyone sees it this way, but I surely do! I wish you luck finding solutions here.
For my part, I’ve spent the last day or two reflecting on the fact that next Tuesday marks the four-year anniversary of my mom’s death and my five-month wedding anniversary. I briefly considered writing a “what I’ve learned post,” but on the marriage front . . . what I’ve learned so far barely fits in one bullet point.
Thank you very much! I wish you luck also in your endeavours. That is terrifying, but I suppose it’s all worth it in the end, isn’t it? My mum reckons that twenty years in she is still on the marriage learning ladder. 🙂