I had an encounter with some cows, internet, and it was not pleasant.
Cows are domesticated, docile creatures. That is what I thought, when I decided impulsively to walk through a field of them this morning.
I had been walking for a good hour and a half, and the field was a shortcut back home. The cows were all crowded by the gate, and they all turned to stare at me when I walked through. They had yellow tags on their ears with numbers on them.
They’re only cows, silly, I thought, walking on, they’re just curious.
They gathered closer to me as I walked, following my movements.
I stared at them, stock still. The clouds were heavy in the sky. The wind hustled the grasses this way and that, sending ripples through the wavy stalks. And the cows were silent, their eyes on me. All of them. It was like the silence of an impending doom
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
I noticed the calves grazing calmly in the distance. Perhaps they were being wary.
Nevertheless, I did something really stupid, folks. I made a sudden leap towards them, thinking that perhaps if I established my dominance they might take heed and move on.
They leapt back, sure enough, but then they leapt forward, all crowding closer towards me.
I was ab-so-lutely terrified. What had I unleashed!?
“Okay cows,” said I, “off you go now. Move on. Nothing to see here”
They ignored me, and carried on staring.
So I ran. I don’t know why I ran. I wasn’t scared, I was just trying to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.
I ran towards the gate and the most confident of all the cows, a large black creature with two small horns, started running alongside me. Really! Yes, really. I slowed down. The cow slowed down. She didn’t seem threatening. She didn’t seem playful either. Oh, I can’t read cows!
I got away safe and sound, though, disgruntled about having to go the long way round. But the countryside was glorious, the wind was strong, the clouds heavy and there was a wondrous light rain sprinkling my face. All was well.
I don’t know about those cows though. Perhaps if I had been less afraid, and more gentle, I would have been home sooner. But would I have been alive? Who knows.