The fact of the matter is, I don’t think I would want my mother to read this blog.
I’ve talked to my mother about this blog, and about blogging, but she hasn’t expressed interest in reading it, and I have never offered to have her read it. I have written things here that she might not completely understand or might disapprove of, and, unknowingly, because I am writing into the bottomless void that is the internet, I have been very honest with myself here.
This means that if people from my everyday life were to find this blog, I would feel a little vulnerable and laid bare.
The reason I am writing this now is because somebody from my real life has found this blog. They kindly let me know they found it, and apologised for reading it because they knew I would be mortified. They assured me they didn’t read any further when they realised I might not like them to read, which I appreciated greatly.
I did feel a little shaky and suddenly not so comfortable.
It’s like somebody found my personal diary. But this isn’t what I would call a personal diary.
I feel exposed and as though somebody has looked deeper inside my emotional exoskeleton. Which is an odd feeling to have because this is a public place so anybody, really, can see it. Except I am probably assuming that nobody I know will see it, therefore allowing myself a little more freedom of expression. Isn’t that peculiar? That I would tell complete strangers things I wouldn’t dream of telling people I know?
Obviously I removed a post. It was a post I was a little dubious about writing because it really did come from a deep, dark place inside me and I am not comfortable about having somebody I know come across that.
I guess this was a niggle for me. It still is a niggle for me. I contemplated changing my blog, but the reality of it is that I don’t really want to start a new blog. I like this blog. I have been blogging here for two years now, and the empty ‘New Post’ place has become a place of inspiration and literary brainstorming.
What do you think about privacy and being emotionally honest? Do you share your blog with your family and friends? Or do you do what I do, and keep it to yourself, as it is more ‘private’ (ironic since you’re posting on a public domain!)?