On Friendship and Betrayal.

I’m ticked off.

I know, it’s Tuesday morning. Surely I would have more positive things to write about. But no, I’m annoyed, and this is my rant.

So I have a ‘friend’ who I used to be pretty close to up until recently when she stopped returning my calls and texts and was being just plain rude. I didn’t confront her about it because I know she can get lazy with things and plus I secretly knew why.

You see this friend doesn’t like my mother in law or my in laws in general. When she found out I was going to marry D she was incredulous and said, “But isn’t he pious!?”

I admit I laughed in her face because D is anything but pious, not that there is anything wrong with being pious but she knows me and I can’t stand ‘piety’ because ‘piety’ means hypocrisy where we come from. But she didn’t know D like I did, and so was going by what she assumed.

But there you see that’s where it all began. She (let’s call her Madam S) was already judging. She was judging my Significant Other without even knowing him. She reckons my mother in law is judgy and that is why she doesn’t want to associate with her, which is all very well, but now she doesn’t want to associate with me because I am now part of my MIL’s family, so therefore I must be ‘judgy’ by association.

I’m sorry but that just isn’t fair. It’s judgemental to assume somebody is ‘judgy’ without giving that person a chance. She hasn’t given me a single fudging chance. Not one. She assumes things about me, and talks to another ‘friend’ of ours who is also hating on my MIL, about my MIL, and this makes her assume things about me meaning she no longer ‘trusts’ me.

Now my MIL is a lovely, well intentioned lady who always tries to be as good as she can and as kind as she can to others. Sometimes this can be overbearing, and sometimes people can get the wrong end of the stick. I mean, I used to as well. But I’ve lived with her now and I know she only means well. When it gets too much for me I have a little moan and get on with it, because she is my family and the mother of the love of my life. She does care about me, a lot, and is always making sure I am happy and comfortable, which I think is lovely. Others don’t know that, but they are exaggerating things that have happened and are going around saying horrible things which are only falling back on me, because I am now part of that family. Also it is insensitive to talk about others when you really don’t know the full picture. It is inconsiderate and not very wise.

For example when one of our mutual family friends was divorcing her husband, my MIL may have said something along the lines of ‘You should be sure you are making the right decision because of your kids etc’. Now that lady’s daughter is telling Madam S that my MIL ‘blamed’ the divorce on her mother (the lady who is getting divorced). Which isn’t true at all, and a slanderous accusation based on presumption, not fact.

The girls who are saying those things are girls like me, in their twenties; impressionable young ladies who generally like to make mountains out of molehills. Yes, I make mountains out of molehills. I can be selfish sometimes, I can be moany and irritating. I admit it, but I also give people the benefit of the doubt!

Some of them have gone through some rough patches, like parents getting bad divorces and family members having nervous breakdowns, so naturally they will lash out at small things and get the wrong end of the stick.

But this Madam S who used to be one of my best friends is being, I am sorry to say, a little bitch. She KNOWS me. So if she doesn’t want to associate with me purely because of assumption then I am sorry, I have better things to worry about.

I have run after her enough times, suggesting outings for us and inviting her to places and calling her and asking about her health and even telling her a hilarious story about wonky boobs which she replied to but then nothing. Silence. Blank space. Nada. Zilch.

So I am done. I think she needs to grow up.

And if she calls me or texts me you can bet your life I am not replying. I am too hurt, and I think she doesn’t deserve my friendship.

So, dear reader, if you have made it this far, what are your thoughts? Have you had a friend betray you before? How did you deal with it?

article-2202169-14FAAA47000005DC-174_634x427.jpg

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “On Friendship and Betrayal.

  1. Hi There!

    First of, thank you for following my blog! It is very much appreciated 🙂 Xx

    Second, I don’t think that I’ve ever had a friend betray me. Well, maybe not to the extent that you’re talking about. But, I used to have a friend that I was close to when I was going through a rough time in my life. But, a few years on and now we hardly speak to each other anymore and what I’ve realised is that unfortunately… people change. Not only do circumstances change, but we do as well. That it’s okay to let go, after all… ‘nothing good lasts forever’ and ‘no pain, no gain’ 🙂

    Thanks again,

    – Ainsworth, Xx

    P.S. Sorry for this long comment… Whoops.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello, Ainsworth, and thank you for your long comment. I love comments like these, so thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my post 🙂 You’re absolutely right, people do change, and perhaps both of you changed which is why you are no longer on common ground. It happens, and it’s certainly hurtful, but there’s ‘forgive and forget’, and we all have to live, so its best to live grudge free! Have a great day 🙂

      Like

      • That is very true! But, there is a silver lining in the fact that I now have a group of ‘good’ friends. So, instead of depending on one person and basing my world around them. I now have a group of people who I deeply care about and who care about me. You could say that I have now successfully broken the need for having a best friend!

        – Ainsworth, Xx

        P.S. It’s Night here now, but you have a good day/night! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. We change as we mature and it’s natural to grow out of friendships. It will happen many times over a lifetime. The good news is that as we change, new people will also come into our lives who are a better fit. When you’re ready, just let the relationship go. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m inclined to agree with you here, Diane. People change and I think there comes a point where two people have changed so much that there really isn’t anything anybody can do to keep the friendship going. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s