Fits

Yesterday I rode in an ambulance to the hospital for the first time ever. I felt pretty stupid for doing it because I didn’t think I was near sick enough for that, but the paramedics reckoned I was.

It all started after a bank holiday Monday lie in – during which I enjoyed watching an episode of the US Office. I was just getting up when all of a sudden my right arm and shoulder was shot through with a stab of excruciating pain. I thought I dislocated my arm, and told my husband so. Then I began to feel quite woozy, and a loud ringing began in my ears. I also began to feel rather sick so I told my husband faintly that I was going to get up to go to the bathroom.

He tried to make me sit but I was insistent – when you feel like you want to throw up you do not want to sit on your fresh sheets.

I got up but didn’t make it to the door. The last thing I remember was leaning my head on my husband and mumbling that I didn’t feel well at all. He thought I was joking, because he laughed.

Then I remember waking up from an interesting and vibrant dream, the details of which vanished the minute my brain registered where I was, lying on the floor with my husband’s arm under my head and my mother in law calling the ambulance and telling them of my state.

I also realised with great shame that I seemed to have lost control of my bladder. And this was not the first time this has happened during a fit. I could faintly hear, above the buzzing in my ears, my husband anxiously telling my mother in law that I was fitting and seizing.

So this is the third time I have had a ‘seizure’, so to speak. I don’t remember any of it but the people who were there (nurses, when I was volunteering at the hospital, and my husband) said I was fitting while unconscious.

And the paramedics were concerned because it is an unusual number of seizures within a short time frame. So they wasted no time in taking me to hospital, where after a seven hour wait I was put in a ward with old ladies who were very distressed, crying out at night and requiring bedpans and nurses at all times.

The doctor reckons I do have epilepsy and has now referred me to a neurologist.

Well that was an adventure. It means I can’t drive or go swimming anymore which is sad. And a large part of my brain really thinks that I’m completely fine and I just fainted.

When I told the doctor that she emphasised the incontinence while unconscious and said that was highly indicative of an epileptic fit.

Great, right? Anyway. My lesson from this experience is that I am not exempt from sickness. I also learned that life is unexpected. I also learnt that growing older and being dependant on others for everything, down to toiletting, is a severe test, and I hope to God I never reach that stage. I also learned that when pushed, I can be quite patient. Who knew I had it in me, hey!

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