I called my husband’s phone at work and his work colleague picked up.
I didn’t realise it wasn’t him at first so I said his name, tentatively, because the person answering obviously answered it differently to how my husband would, except he wasn’t speaking clearly, so I thought it was still my husband.
So he repeated, ‘D’s phone, how can I help?’
So I said, ‘D?’
I don’t know why I did, okay? I just did. So cringe, I know.
‘Um, D is not at his desk at the moment, can I take a message?’
Oh my god. How embarrassing.
So of course now I was thrown off track because of my awkwardness, so I quickly said, ‘Oh no no no no. It’s fine. I will call back later. Bye.’
It was absolutely not fine. It was an emergency. I had broken the night latch on my door and was locked indoors and had to be somewhere asap. I jumped over the fence and tried to unlock it from outside but to no avail. So I went about my business and then when my husband returned home I pried the lock open from inside with a knife, and he unbolted it from the door to tinker with it.
Still in his work clothes, still with his jacket on.
‘My friend told me you called.’
‘He said it was so awkward. You were so awkward.’
But he said it so accusingly that against my better judgement I just stared at him furiously while unwanted tears swelled in my eyes. He didn’t notice.
‘Oh, right, so everybody thinks D’s wife is weird and awkward, is that it?’ I lashed out.
‘What?’ he was surprised, ‘No!’
He hugged me, and got lock grease all over my nice clothes, which was fine, but he was lying. Of course. Because I was upset. I can always tell. When he isn’t telling the truth, his mouth sets in a straight line. And he doesn’t make eye contact with me.
But they probably all do think that.
I am not weird and awkward. I was just muddled! It can happen to anybody, right? My mind was also far away so I didn’t react well to realising I was speaking to somebody else in the tone I used specially for my husband, so naturally I would be awkward.
Also, D’s friend MUMBLES. I just thought it was D using a different phrase to answer his, hello, work phone.
Ugh. Am I overanalysing this. I don’t want people at his new workplace thinking his wife is some loser who can’t talk on the phone. They probably don’t care anyway but I am pretty sure D does, his friend and him go back a long way. I don’t want my husband to think he can’t rely on me to not be awkward in social situations.