Mundane

I don’t have very many friends. People I used to consider my closest friends have all moved on to greener pastures, making me feel as though my own is rather faded and yellow.

It is, though. It is true. I have a few very close friends but I rarely see them as I live far away from them and am now inundated with life.

I see other people have friends in their own vicinities and wonder at the fact that mine are spread all over the country.

I do know that it’s because of my life situation. Growing up I had friends a plenty because I went to school with the same people for 3 years, then three years, and then three years again. But when I was sixteen I moved back to the UK and that is where my friendships sort of withered away.

I guess I was very different from the people around me because I’d been brought up in a different country, so that sort of made me feel uncomfortable around them, and teenagers can sense this sort of stuff. I ended up being a loner in the library just munching on books. Figuratively speaking.

Looking back, I now realise that I was sad and did nothing about it. I was reserved and held back even though people invited me to places and offered to be my friend. I thought they were just being ‘nice’ not realising they genuinely meant it. That was pretty stupid of me.

I also got married at 19. I was pretty young I think and I don’t think it was a rash decision at all, but sometimes I do think perhaps I ought to have found myself first. I don’t regret it one bit – marriage is hard but we work on it and more often than not come out on top.

So I guess in my life I just was never in the right place or right head space to have a solid group of ‘friends’ like other people have – in the same town, meeting up whenever we like to.

I have to schedule meet-ups with friends months in advance and spend the rest of the relationship either on the phone or via text. It works, but it’s a bit sad.

So mostly, even though I worked a full time job and completed a degree in these past five years, I live a pretty mundane life. Which leads me to believe that my mind is pretty mundane and repetitive. I suppose that is not true, but one can’t help feeling like that sometimes.

You see, when you have friends who you see often and interact with, you sort of develop a repertoire of speech and nuances in your humour that you wouldn’t otherwise discover by yourself. I know this because every time I hang out with my friends I emerge a more energetic, witty and bubbly version of myself.

My mother in law told my mum once, ‘Oh, it’s like a ray of sunshine when Len comes into the house’. That was back in the day when me and my husband were ‘courting’. Now I am a sour puss. I am not saying this to blow my own trumpet – it’s just evidence to me that if I have friends and am surrounded by people, I am far nicer and more droll than when I spend hours and days alone. Words tumble from my mouth in such a smooth way it shocks me, whereas if I’ve been a lone, talking is a bit like chewing on lead.

Yes even at work I was alone – an editor sits at a computer most of the day and interacts minimally as editorial work is lonely work.

Anyway. That is what I have to say about the word ‘mundane’. That and also boy am I glad I am not at university anymore – some of those lectures were MUNDANE.

What does the word ‘mundane’ make you think of?

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9 thoughts on “Mundane

  1. I know I haven’t been able to keep up with your daily writing, but when I saw the opening line in my feed, I came quickly. All of us need others (outside of our immediate family) to give us joy, encouragement, and more. One has to start over after moving. One leaves a job voluntarily or through retirement, friends change. Meanwhile, hang in there and think about what you can do as a young mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Frank, I appreciate your lovely words, they are very supportive and helpful! As a mother (or even as a parent) there is a huge responsibility to do the best one can! And some days the ‘best’ is less than other days 🙂 humans are social animals, but I am sure someday I can look back on all this and think how excellent a learning curve it all was. Now, I know I have a couple of posts of yours to catch up on – I know there is a beach walk there somewhere that I bookmarked to read later! So I will be doing that now 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mudane to me is anything I don’t enjoy doing. Housework, meetings, housework, housework, television, housework. I hate housework. Can you tell? Your post is full of insights, Lenora. Especially about how you’ve held yourself back in the past. And having a baby can be very isolating on top of everything else. You are smart and powerful, my friend. When the time is right, you’ll know what to do to make new connections and you’ll do it. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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