Sad

The clocks went back on Sunday morning at 2am. I feel so down about it to be honest with you.

Usually I welcome this change excitedly. I think about warm coats and hats and scarves and soft streetlamps, cosy bedrooms and dim lighting and warm mugs of sweet deliciousness. Candles. Baths. Hugs. Soup. Mother’s curries. My sister’s apple crumble. My husband’s cold cheeks, his warm hands in which my always cold ones nestle neatly.

This year it feels rather desolate if I am honest. It feels hazy and cloudy and tired and achey. It feels lonely, so lonely. A deep aching loneliness. Family so far away. Life so uncertain. Death knocking at the door. I see him and he is so close this year and I don’t know why.

Anyway I googled ‘why do I feel sad when the clocks go back‘ and it’s a very common ailment that people in the Northern hemisphere suffer from. It’s called SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I don’t think I have SAD but the dark season has made me feel sad this year. I think it’s worse too because I can’t see anybody really, and that is really hurting my heart.

So I decided not to wallow in self pity and do something about it. I have decided to light some candles every evening and tidy up properly once the sun has set, so we have a cosy space to relax in. I have decided to have a hot drink with my son before he goes to bed, just me and him (and maybe his dad if he has finished working on time), have a natter about our day and what books he would like to read before bed. I have decided to keep lamps on in the evening, to wind down. I have decided to take a brisk walk in the morning and a short one in the afternoon while it’s still light out. Get some of that Vitamin D aka happy hormone. Exercise and vitamin D apparently does wonders for the mood. We shall see how these changes help. If they do at all.

Have I missed anything out?

What do you do when you’re feeling low? Has anything you’ve tried helped you get out of a funk?

6 thoughts on “Sad

    • I am usually like you, and love this time of year too. But this year it feels different. Maybe it’s the first time I am experiencing it alone without family. I do see a greater depth in your words in that post in light of this comment, so thank you πŸ™‚ I wish you a very gracious and generous autumn and winter!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you OB. I think my difficult times were earlier on during all of this. I was still working, but from home, I tried very consciously to be socially responsible-which truly isolated me. It was difficult. This time of year, this feeling, seems more natural. I love the coziness of being home, being alone (but productive). I think it almost feels more natural (to me) at this time of year. I hope that makes sense. I wish for you, beautiful and laugh filled moments with that precious boy πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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