I recently came across a song that made my blood run cold.
It’s by this famous singer called Billie Eilish. I hadn’t heard of her before. Mainly because I don’t like music much, unless it stirs something in the murky depths of my personality. Mainly because I get put off very easily by ‘famous’ pop singers. Call it snobbiness, call it depression, I like soft melody, classic songs, sung from the heart. I don’t like the ‘beat’, it sucks you away on a train of nothingness into a chasm of darkness.
Anyway.
This song is called ‘Happier than Ever’ and I listened to it one day as it popped up in my Youtube ‘recommended’ list.
It’s a slow song, in the beginning. Half whispered lyrics, deep yet soft voice. Talking about how she was happier than ever to be away from someone. It’s sad and almost mournful. And then the tempest rises. The voice becomes stronger. Some anger creeps in. Then it is fury. Fury and pain and loss and a primal roar that makes me think exclusively of a tragic loss of innocence.
The last line in the song is ‘Just fucking leave me alone‘ and it is sung with such passion, that all the hollow empty caves within my being surged to life.
This whole song, this whole damn song, is exactly how I feel, felt, am feeling, always feel… about a terrible and tragic time in my life. Something that still haunts me today.
And I am just so shocked that someone so young can articulate it so well and write something that means something to such a lot of people.
Ocean Bream 
I found the lyrics online and read as I listened to the song, Lenora. It’s cathartic in the end as she’s screaming and spinning outside in the rain. Sending you might big hugs, my friend. And strength and love. ❤
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Wow, thank you for listening and following along! It so is cathartic, like she is letting go finally of what holds her back. She doesn’t even have to tell him/her/the situation that she is letting go. Thank you, hugs to you too ❤️ you’re so kind.
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I don’t listen to much music, so this was a pleasure. So powerful!
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I am glad to hear it 🙂
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I haven’t listened to a lot of her music but there is something about her I really like. If I ever run across interviews with her I always watch. Though I don’t like to hear of other’s pain (rather, I am very saddened by it) I am glad you found something that you can connect to, and hopefully, it gives you some relief? Comfort?
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There is something about her isn’t there! 🙂 it certainly does bring some comfort. As Diana said, it’s cathartic 🙂 thank you for sharing your thoughts!
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I’m sorry about the haunting experience that this song evokes for you, but so grateful you shared this song. I have listened several times in a row; it’s hitting something so simultaneously raw and healing in me, and … it seems I’ll “have” to check out more of this artist’s work. Thank you. 💙
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Wow, I am so glad it resonated with you too! ‘raw’ and ‘healing’ are the perfect words to describe how I felt listening to it too 🙂 I think this artist stands out from the crowd.
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