I Don’t Relate to You

I recently came across a song that made my blood run cold.

It’s by this famous singer called Billie Eilish. I hadn’t heard of her before. Mainly because I don’t like music much, unless it stirs something in the murky depths of my personality. Mainly because I get put off very easily by ‘famous’ pop singers. Call it snobbiness, call it depression, I like soft melody, classic songs, sung from the heart. I don’t like the ‘beat’, it sucks you away on a train of nothingness into a chasm of darkness.


This song is called ‘Happier than Ever’ and I listened to it one day as it popped up in my Youtube ‘recommended’ list.

It’s a slow song, in the beginning. Half whispered lyrics, deep yet soft voice. Talking about how she was happier than ever to be away from someone. It’s sad and almost mournful. And then the tempest rises. The voice becomes stronger. Some anger creeps in. Then it is fury. Fury and pain and loss and a primal roar that makes me think exclusively of a tragic loss of innocence.

The last line in the song is ‘Just fucking leave me alone‘ and it is sung with such passion, that all the hollow empty caves within my being surged to life.

This whole song, this whole damn song, is exactly how I feel, felt, am feeling, always feel… about a terrible and tragic time in my life. Something that still haunts me today.

And I am just so shocked that someone so young can articulate it so well and write something that means something to such a lot of people.

8 thoughts on “I Don’t Relate to You

  1. I haven’t listened to a lot of her music but there is something about her I really like. If I ever run across interviews with her I always watch. Though I don’t like to hear of other’s pain (rather, I am very saddened by it) I am glad you found something that you can connect to, and hopefully, it gives you some relief? Comfort?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry about the haunting experience that this song evokes for you, but so grateful you shared this song. I have listened several times in a row; it’s hitting something so simultaneously raw and healing in me, and … it seems I’ll “have” to check out more of this artist’s work. Thank you. 💙

    Liked by 1 person

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