Halloween Grinch

Folks it was Halloween yesterday and some people celebrated more than others. Here in the UK it is a pretty low-key event and you are even allowed the luxury of complaining about trick or treaters.

Maybe in some areas houses are insanely done up and it’s a party outside but I have never seen it. Only seen footage of that street party horror vibe in places like America and Canada where it actually is a big event.

My husband and I never did Halloween and to be honest I didn’t even do it as a child. I lived in the middle east and my British-grown parents who grew up in the 70s and 80s did not know anything of the holiday, because it is not a very British holiday.

So usually, on Halloween, we turn off our lights and put a polite sign on the door saying ‘Sorry, we aren’t trick or treating this year :)’ (with a smiley face to appear less obnoxious!). We spend the evening upstairs with a movie and a pizza or something similar, like a cup of tea and a packet of digestives and pleasantly ignore all the persistent knocks downstairs.

I know.

Mean and cruel.

We had a child last year and in October the child was 7 months and didn’t know any better. He was also quite poorly so we spent Halloween upstairs, in the bedroom, with the news on, a cup of tea and lots of toys to entertain a grizzly baby. We looked like zombies so I expect if someone had seen us they would have supposed we were in costume. Wouldn’t have blamed them at all.

This year nobody knocked on our door.

Well I lie.

Someone did. At 12:14pm. My husband peeped through the peephole and said, ‘Oh no, the trick or treaters have started already! There is a boy in a crocodile costume outside holding a bag!’

‘Don’t open it!’ I said frantically, scanning my cupboards, ‘we have nothing to give him! What about an apple?!’

Too late, my husband opened the door. The little boy came tentatively forward and handed us a paper bag before leaping back. On it was written: ‘Happy Halloween, love from O, S and L’.

“It’s for your baby!” he said, eyes bright, little dimples dancing.

Oh my goodness my mellowed mother heart.

“Awwwwwwwww” was the only thing I could say, “Thank you darling, that’s so sweet!”

He was the neighbour’s little boy, and he was dancing with glee. And my ‘baby’ was peeping around the door at him in curiosity.

‘Look, E, look what the little boy got you!’ and I took the bag and I kid you not there were tears in my eyes. How weird. The bag was filled with handmade Halloween crafts and little bags of sweets.

We waved as the little boy pranced back up the path and along the road to his own house.

And I felt so despicably awful for some reason, like I was such a grinch in the face of such innocent and sweet kindness.

It made me realise that these celebrations and events are for children, to make them happy and connect each other in a genuine way. It’s completely changed my outlook on why people celebrate Halloween like that and lie to their kids about Santa. It’s about creating magic and joy for kids which I think is so important. Seeing my baby boy’s eyes light up at this goody bag JUST FOR HIM made my heart melt.

And that is my Halloween story for this year.

What was your Halloween like? Do you celebrate it in true fashion or do you lock yourself away and grumble at the frivolity?

Image Credit

Walrus in my Throat

 

I was going to write a post moaning about my life.

But then I realised that my family loves me, and even though marriage is hard work and doesn’t always make you feel great, it’s still something worth fighting for.

All the Christmas cheer makes me feel irritable and prone to hide away like a grinch, but I am happy everybody else is happy. I am happy that happiness exists in the world, and that even in the most trying of times, people are willing to share and give to those less fortunate. There are so many heart warming stories out there. I guess this ‘Christmas cheer’ does something to cold hearts after all.

The sight of somebody I used to know made me feel as though I was going to vomit from fear this week. It ruined my whole mood and turned my day gloomy and dreadful. That is, full of dread. But then I realised that I am a strong lady, and even if he did come to me and make my life miserable again I can kick him out because nobody will rule my life like that. Nobody. I refuse to let it happen. The very idea that it used to happen makes me so angry. So if push comes to shove, I will resurrect all my anger and use it to my advantage. Strength, my dear, strength.

I don’t want to do anything. But if I don’t, I will underachieve. If there’s one thing I have learnt about life, it is that it is brutal. It carries on despite you not being able to keep up. The more you lag behind, the more it swiftly speeds on ahead. So I have learnt that the only way to keep up is to go through the motions.

Get out of bed. Complete all set tasks. Achieve short term goals, which are slow ticks on a list that add up to a long term goal. Along the way, you might burst through a ray of sunshine. A walk on a grassy hill. The wind in your hair as you sail down a hill. Rain pattering on the trees, releasing a deliciously rich, earthy smell. A surprise kiss. A piece of chocolate melting in your mouth after a particularly hard day. An evening of laughter.

I will be strong.

I will be happy.

I will be successful.

I will feed my soul. There is very little soul feeding going on in the world lately.

I will spread joy.

I will live life.

I will drown the demons. They cannot win.

Meanwhile there is a perpetual walrus in my chest and sometimes it climbs up into my throat and makes tear-water leak from my eyes. But I will smother him. It’s not the time. It’s not the time. Yet.

Soon I will be alone, to have a nice lonely cry and feel sorry for myself, get it out of my system and then dry my tears and carry on.

Merry Carrying On to you all!

Grumps

Time to get my fluffy socks and woolly jumpers out, because the sun’s face is buried under layers of thick cloud and the cold is beginning to seep through the damp wooden beams, slowly making its way under my skin. It’s going to be a cold autumn.

cold autumn

Anyone else feel that way yet?

Also, the shops are beginning to stock Christmas-ware shamelessly! Time for my grumpy Grinch-itis to slowly poke it’s black curly head out with a colossal scowl.

Also, I love the word ‘grumpy’! It’s so cosy and warm, somehow. Like a frowny day in pyjamas, warm blankets and an excuse to stay in bed while the storms rage outside. Grumpy is less serious than ‘irritated’ or ‘sullen’ or ‘surly’ or ‘testy’. It’s more on par with a gruff old granddad with a heart of gold. Who doesn’t like a gruff old granddad with a heart of gold!

grumpy cat

Grumpy cat is the perfect image for how I feel about too-early Christmas goodies in the shops.