On a Moroccan Bath

When you walk in, be sure to take off your glasses because they will steam up.
Ladies are naked. Quite naked. Not a scrap of clothing. You collect a bucket from the locker woman, take off your clothes, and in you go.

Three large high ceiled rooms, each hotter than the next. In the hottest room the floor is hot, like in Dubai in the summer when you come out the pool in the sunshine and have to hop on the slabs so the soles of your feet don’t burn.

So there is a special kind of natural soap that you use, you just take it off and it dissolves into foam in your hands, and you rub it all over your body. Sit and stew in the heat awhile, then wash the soap off.

Now is the good bit. Now you scrub at your skin. Slow, deep scrubs until grey spaghetti starts to form. So much grime and dirt crawling out of your skin, and you scrub and scrub, and you scrub another lady’s back and she scrubs yours. All over your body until you are sure all your spaghetti grime has come out of your pores, and then you wash again.

Wash your hair, wash your skin. Then gather all your stuff and wrap up warm and out you pop.
Breath of minty fresh air hits you, making  your skin prickle in satisfaction.

So light and clean. It’s wonderful.

I feel so relaxed. Drowsy. I could comfortably fall into a deep sleep now. The sign over the baths said in Arabic “Hammam Turkiyya” which means ‘Turkish Baths’ so maybe it’s a Turkish bath? Either way, it’s the best wash I have ever had, ever. It’s like a cleansing massage.

Will I go again? Hell to the yeah! I don’t like being naked in front of everybody though. I’ve never been able to do that. I wore a bikini but even then it was mighty awks. I guess I’m just never gonna be comfy showing skin. THAT much skin anyway. But once you’re in its not really an issue and you kind of forget because you’re so engrossed in getting rid of your spaghetti insect dirt!

How to Create the Illusion of Hair

Hello.

Are you a female (or male) with long hair that is thinning? Do you have alopecia, or Female Pattern Baldness? Is our hair thinning for an inexplicable reason?

Are you constantly looking wistfully at people’s scalps, and comparing to your own shiny scalp? Do you dream of long, thick, sensational locks to swish around your face and comb?

Well. I can’t help you with that, my loves. However I can help you look as though you have a voluminous head of gorgeous locks, to save you some upset and increase your daily confidence.

That’s right! Not possible, I hear you say? Ha. Keep your incredulity where it belongs. In the bin.

Now. Get yourself together. Here we go!

Ingredients:

  1. Hair. (Obviously thinning hair).
  2. Deep conditioner (home made or otherwise).
  3. High quality hair oil (natural organic Argan oil, if you can. If not, olive oil or coconut oil is good).
  4. Plastic bag/shower cap/cling film to cover hair.
  5. Heat protecting serum.
  6. Blow drier.
  7. Straighteners.
  8. Hair powder (Caboki, Kerafibre etc)
  9. Strong determination and will power.

Method:

Brush hair first. If hair is very sensitive, take a comb through your locks and get rid of all your knots. Very gently. Oil your roots with high quality preferably organic hair oil. If you don’t have any, never fear. Extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil is good enough. Part your hair in sections and apply the oil to your scalp using your fingertips. Rub in gently. Repeat process all over your head. Then deep condition the body of your hair (not roots!) using home-made or bought deep conditioner. If the shining scalp beneath your sparse hair bothers you, ignore it and inhale the scent of natural oils and/or essences instead. Bring your hair to the top of your head in a loose knot (don’t stress your roots) and cover with a shower cap, cling film or a plastic bag. Leave for around an hour.

Now that your hair has sucked in some good revitalising nutrients, give it a good old wash. Don’t scrub too hard, and wash preferably with your head upside down over the bath. I do this because my hair is curly, and when it dries, it springs up slightly because it’s been washed upside down, adding to the volume effect.

Once it’s washed, wrap in a T-shirt and gently pat dry. Do not use a towel. Towels are harsh and can cause split ends and also hair breakage. You do not want to break your hair anymore than it already is, do you.

Now, use a hair protecting serum first before you bow dry your hair upside down. That’s right. Blow dry upside down so you can have big hair; and yes I know you have very little hair. Very little hair can look big too.

Once it’s dry and big, you can take a comb through it or a brush, and gently comb/brush out any knots.

Now you can straighten.

I generally straighten the top layer of hair, and slightly straighten the bottom layer. The waves underneath the top layer create the illusion that I have more hair than I do. It also makes my hair look tidy as well as thick.

Now. You probably are wondering what I should do with the shiny scalp showing on top. Well never fear, dears. Take some hair powder (caboki is the best kind, to be honest) and sprinkle on top. Muss your hair about with your fingers (you will have to give your fingers a wash afterwards), arrange your hair so it looks thicker (I give mine a side parting), and voila.

Good luck!

Black Hair Painting