Fifty Fragments

I am not complaining I promise.

Here is a list of things:

  1. Babies are cute. That is established.
  2. Frustration is inevitable.
  3. I am in and out of two homes. My parents and my in-laws.
  4. I have chores in both homes.
  5. I am also juggling a full time course, going to the gym, and tutoring five hours a day.
  6. I need to have more free time to spend evenings with my husband else I will never see him ever as he commutes to work.
  7. There is literally no space for me to study.
  8. Going to the library is effort as I am needed in both homes.
  9. Not all my things are getting done, leaving many parties dissatisfied with me, work incomplete, art untouched.
  10. I never have alone time, leaving me feeling angry and frustrated all the time.
  11. I don’t have time for painting.
  12. I don’t have time for writing.
  13. I don’t have time for friends. Especially friends. I have ignored calls for weeks. It’s getting bad.
  14. My husband is making fun of me because I am acting like I have it so hard.
  15. I am not.
  16. I am just sad because I want my own space and some time to do the things I want to do.
  17. I am also angry because I never get him alone because his family are always at him to do stuff.
  18. Even though there are other people there to do these things.
  19. It’s not wrong for him to do stuff.
  20. But I feel like I have less of him to be my husband, and I am never a priority.
  21. I also rarely see my parents properly.
  22. I also am having increasingly less time to take care of myself.
  23. And eat food.
  24. I am always hungry.
  25. Because I can’t eat bad food.
  26. But nobody has good food.
  27. Or there isn’t enough.
  28. Like today my mum asked if I was staying for dinner.
  29. Which I was.
  30. I said I wasn’t hungry.
  31. She said it’s ok. She just wanted to know, because there wasn’t enough food.
  32. Yesterday, there wasn’t enough food at my in-law’s.
  33. So I said I already ate.
  34. Even though I didn’t.
  35. I mean, that is ok.
  36. It’s fine.
  37. Honestly.
  38. But.
  39. You know.
  40. I just want my own home back.
  41. And to have time to follow my passions.
  42. And not have to bounce between two families.
  43. And live with my husband again.
  44. And have his mother let us be alone sometimes.
  45. I know we are young. And have no kids.
  46. But, you know, it doesn’t mean we don’t have our own lives.
  47. Oh dear.
  48. I think it will be fine.
  49. I just need to adapt.
  50. I will be fine.

 

Ok, I am complaining. Ha.

 

images

Artist credit: Valery Rybakov

That List

red-colour-water-colour-painting-porcelain-tile-sheet-material-improvement

 

These are the things I want to achieve in 2016.

 

  1. Expand my painting skills by doing more painting. Especially with oil paints. I really want to be able to paint fascinating pictures full of colour and get the shadows just right, so I can put them on my walls.
  2. Write more. Oh, so much more. Finish my novel finally and try to get it published. Write ten hours a week to start with.
  3. Set up a website for my translating and editing business.
  4. Practise my Arabic reading and writing and grammar.
  5. Get really fit, and increase my daily cycling distance from 10 miles to 30 miles.
  6. Explore more places, now that I have a car.
  7. Walk for an hour everyday, while listening to informative podcasts.
  8. Follow my tastes in fashion, and stop looking like such a frump sometimes.
  9. Wear more colour, own more colour, create more colour.
  10. Be kind. Kinder. Be more open to humans. I am far too closed off and cold. Smile more.

 

That’s mainly it, really! There are probably more things but right now I am geared up to go. Well I was last week but it’s nice to start from day one.

Speaking of which, I saw so many runners when I went on my bike ride this morning. WAY more than usual. Looks like people have begun with their resolutions already!

Have you?