How Important Is What You Want To Do?

Maybe you want to do what you want to do, but have you done it?

I want to do what I want to do. I want to write stories and have them read by hundreds and thousands of people. Even millions. I want them to have an aura of their own and I want them to find special nooks in people’s hearts.

And I know that in a hundred years my name will never even have existed, unless it does in somebody’s mouldy attic. In fact, in another thousand years, it will be like none of us have ever existed.

I stopped by Castle Howard in Yorkshire yesterday as part of my current two week road trip. It is stunning, beautiful, all the original furniture from the 1700s still stands, and the owners, when it is not open to the public during the winter months, still live there! Which, to me, is simply fascinating. The mansion is beyond any regular proportions of any lovable house in the UK today (well, I think), and yet the tenth generation of Howards still house under its magnificent and famous roofs and have parties and guests in its renowned guest rooms – with the same decor, I might add, that they had in 1800.

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Image credit – my husband.

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Image Credit – my husband.

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Image credit – my husband.

 

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I saw a central fountain of brilliant marble depicting mermen blowing water through horns on to a strong man carrying a giant marble ball on his back. I meandered through thousands of rose bushes contained within wonderfully shaped hedges. And, later, as I sat in the gardens, the hills rolling away in the distance, meeting the glittering lake to the left of the house, I thought, well imagine all the generations of people who visited this place and were awestruck by it. Imagine the previous family who flourished and died within these walls, imagine their lives and stories and ambitions.

We know nothing of those details, yet those details were tremendous to those experiencing them at that moment in time.

In the same way that our details are tremendous, our lives are so crammed with thoughts and experiences and things we want to share or feel we need to share and express – and yet, for what purpose, really?

It will all rot away and decompose anyway, and most likely not be remembered. And, given this fact, how important in the grand scheme of things is it really?

I have not done what I want to do. And this is not to say that what I want to do is not important. It is to say that I want what I want to do to be important for the short while that it will be relevant, because that is the only window I have.

Time is a cruel creature, but time is also wisdom and motivation.

 

 

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The Sunset of Life

Before you expire, what is it you hope to achieve?

I hope to achieve my life-ly goals, and also my after-life-ly goals, because I believe that life is a struggle because it is temporary. I think that much more awaits me out there and so I must prepare for it, much like I am preparing for my finals today, because I want a better life in the future.

It is all about balance, you see.

Balance your behaviour. Balance your personality. Balance your character. Balance your relationships. Balance your work and your play.

Life is a seesaw of things which we must balance.

I think that each of us is a little planet that spins around our axis of life. None of us share an axis. Our axises are comprised of our different life institutions, and while some of our life institutions may be similar, others aren’t.

Two sisters share a family and siblings but they have different spouses and children, and they might have gone to separate universities and have separate religions. They may share a passion for painting but one sister might like abstract while the other focuses solely on life like oil painting.

There is so much going on, and so many things that demand our attention, that it can sometimes be hard to give each its due focus.

 

I think that it is harmful to prioritise things unnecessarily. It’s harmful to make your family your sole focus in life, over your passions and beliefs. It is harmful to be so infatuated with somebody, that your life begins to be meaningless without said person. It is dangerous to fixate on work or your career at the expense of your real life relationships. You must feed your body as well as your soul.

Those are the things that I think are important, and the things I want to achieve before the sunset of my life begins. The thing is, it could be anytime. It could even be in the next ten minutes. That is why I have made it my priority to never go to sleep angry with anybody, and to mend all my disagreements with people. It’s good for your heart, and it’s good for your conscience.

 

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