That Guy (On 9 Years)

I have to write a post about it because I do every year.

Even though I don’t particularly feel like writing it this year.

But nine years ago today I married this guy. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Dancing on a rainbow. Sunshine in my eyes. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world too. He better have. He is still the luckiest guy in the world.

But yes.

Begrudgingly I say it today, I am very lucky still to be married to this guy. Who drives me up the wall, but in the same breath makes me so joyful. If anybody on earth can make me laugh when I am in a bad mood, it’s him.

My daughter has his smile.

She smiles with her entire face. Her dimples dance in and out of her gorgeous cheeks and her eyes could light the entire world. Her teeth flash in a way that is so unique to her, to him, and I promise you, when she smiles, your heart will move an inch to the right.

I see it all the time. Even strangers are not immune to her smile.

And she gets it from her Dad.

When we first began ‘courting’, I wasn’t too sure about this guy. I was impressed by his biceps, I will admit that. He smelled so good too. But I knew it would take more than an attractive body and face to make a relationship strong.

And one day he sat on the sofa adjacent to me, and we were talking about this that and the other. I said something. And he smiled. It was a small smile at first, but then his entire face lit up. I saw dimples where I had never seen them before. His eyes drew me right in. It moved me in ways I had never been moved before.

That smile could move mountains, I thought.

It’s a special smile, I can only get it out of him rarely, and not many people can coax that particular smile from him.

Our daughter, though? She graces me with his special smile every day, multiple times a day.

So I am thankful for the gift of him, his smile, and the joy that he has passed on to the next generation.

Even though, right now, he is THAT guy to me, because I am upset with him. (I say this with a smile, marriage is full of ups and downs. I still love THAT guy.)

Image Credit

Today’s a Day

He hates hearts. I don’t know why. Credit: Jennifer Bishop

Well hello. Today is a day, folks. I got married two years ago today.

My husband commutes to work. It’s 1.5 hours drive there and 1.5 back, so three in total. It’s a bit sad, because, and this is a little secret, but I am a little crazy. I keep imagining accidents on the motorway and heart attacks (he is 24.) and all the manner of frightening things that will mean that my husband will be taken away from me. So every morning before he goes to work I hug him as tightly as I can and whisper in his ear that I love him, and kiss his forehead, and his nose, and his left cheek, his chin, his right cheek and his mouth. In that order. Then I say ‘drive safe’, as though that will stop an accident happening. I mean, safe driving might help, but mentioning it sure won’t. I don’t know what I would do without him. Death is inevitable, I know, so that is why I savour my time with him (when I am not cross with him, that is).

ANYWAY. It’s been two years! Can you believe it? I can’t

I will stop rambling on because I can talk forever and ever.

Here is an organised list of things I have learnt from two years of marriage.

1. I am not always right. Even if I am a woman. (You know how the saying goes!)
2. Women Know. With a capital K. Here is a little anecdote. My husband and I were once waiting to board a bus transporting us to a ferry. The line was long, and everybody was putting their bags in the boot of the bus before going to the back to the queue. My husband didn’t think that was necessary but I said ‘look here my plum, if you put the bag in now, it’s less hassle when we get to the door and we don’t hold people up’. So he went off grumbling, and the old woman in front of me turned to me, smiling, and said with a knowing nod, ‘it’s always the way, isn’t it. Women know.’ I thought that was hilarious.
3. Stop being so butthurt.
4. One should make an effort and take care of oneself. When your partner sees you’ve made an effort for them, mountains can be scaled. It’s nice to dress up for yourself (and I do it frequently) but it’s also a nice feeling when you do it to make your spouse happy. I like it when Damian’s face is tidy and he smells nice and looks smart. I like it very much. DISCLAIMER: This doesn’t mean you have to do it all the time or be a good little housewife (or househusband, lol.) of the 50s. You do you.
5. Fighting is inevitable. Just don’t overthink things. And for heaven’s sake ignore the small things. It’s really not worth the agro.
6. You don’t have to enjoy the same things to have a good time together.
7. You really should take time to understand why your spouse doesn’t like something you do. And he you, of course.
8. It’s okay to make your husband’s sandwiches, if he pulls his weight elsewhere too.
9. The honeymoon stage doesn’t just ‘end’. It blossoms slowly into something more comfortable, and when nourished, love only grows deeper. Or maybe I am still in the honeymoon stage? Can’t be, though, my husband’s untrimmed toenails are getting me very riled up right now. When this post is published I am going to give him an ultimatum between sleeping in my bed and chopping his nails off.
10. This one’s from my husband: “You learn more about a person, you see things more clearly, which helps you understand more about life.” I agree. I am learning so much from him and understanding things more, and seeing things in a better perspective.

 

Well, that was short and sweet, wasn’t it.