I wish
That one day
I can have peace
Of mind
and heart
Also,
A private room
to live in
and to do my washing
Without having to wake up at 5am to do it
And to kiss my husband
As passionately as I like
without worrying about a knock on the door
Cuz PDA is gross
Also
To sleep during the day
Without worrying
about in-laws
thinking I am lazy.
I am not.
I swear.
I am constantly working.
On the move.
That is why
I
am so
tired.
All the time.
4 hours sleep,
kind of tired.
There was a point in my life where I was living two lives. I still am, in a vague, less dramatic way, I suppose. The aftershock waves are still washing up to the shore, as it were.
Several good things happened this week.
1. I finished Paper Towns by John Green (I found this book rather similar to Looking for Alaska, but it was a delightfully pleasant read, nonetheless), The Fault in Our Stars (might have been slightly overrated by the masses, but still devastatingly, despicably haunting. John Green’s style is particularly brilliant) and Six Months Later by a certain Natalie Richards (now don’t get me wrong, I was pretty hooked on this book, but only because the author was so horrendously good at beating about the bush and not answering questions. It was maddeningly frustrating, and built me up to expect something poignant and deep rooted, so I was slightly disappointed in this book when all the tension and mystery turned out to be something predictable and familiar. Richards is, suffice to say, excellent with her words. Her ideas (to me anyway) however, need a little bit more tuning). I feel happy with my endeavors and my next goal is to finish Gone With the Wind (a supposed classic), 1984 (remarkably satisfying, so far, in terms of both writing style, imagery and unique ideas, something which sadly most of today’s writers severely lack, as their work seems to be loosely hooked around a conventional [at least, by today’s literary standards, which are poor, to say the least] love triangle featuring a golden boy, and a misunderstood broody delinquent and a barely satisfying plot-line [e.g. Shatter Me, Twilight, Six Months Later, Masque of the Red Death (Bethany Griffin version) and so on]), The Lucky One (Nicholas Sparks, I’ve read The Notebook and this book seems more promising), An Abundance of Katherines (as is expected, I am hungry for more of Green’s work) and Siobhan Dowd’s ‘Bog Child’.
2. I got paid. This means I got to book a driving lesson (we all know how expensive those are), which I shall be attending on Wednesday, hopefully. Which reminds me of the heart stopping debacle which was my last driving lesson, which occured over a year ago, now, and the thought of which is making my stomach churn in nauseating dread.
3. And lastly, I got blown over by the wind. It was a truly delightful experience, I must say. I have been buffered by the creature before, but yesterday a huge gust took a hold of me and yanked me right over. I tripped over my huge hiking boots (Lord only knows why wore hiking boots to the library) and fell sprawling to the ground. I got up smiling, however.
Yes I am fully aware that the wind is a severe problem in lots of places and causes lots of misery and loss and sadness, but this wind was like an old chum, you know. Pushing me over in a moment of jest. So on, so forth.
I don’t really know exactly when I’ll be able to spit the truth out. But I need to get it out. Someday. I just have to build up to it.
.
Ocean Bream 